My head feels like one of those "tornado in a bottle" science projects we all made in fifth grade.  This twister in my skull began yesterday during a hot, bumpy bus ride to Ocala and has continued through this evening.  Despite the swishing fluids in my brain, I did manage to take a run this afternoon. Okay, cross out the word run and replace it with shuffle.  I did manage to take a shuffle this afternoon. I've been secretly shuffling for about 2 months now.  My family and neighbors are aware of my shuffling, but I still consider it to be a secret because I haven't posted anything about it on facebook.  One day soon though, my status update will read: Katy is about to run a 5k.  I've been very careful not mention my attempting to run in a 5k this summer because I didn't want to jinx myself, but I actually ran 2 miles straight last weekend, so I'm feeling a bit more confident.  I have until mid July to build up to that 3rd mile, but this Florida heat is killing me.  I sometimes try to imagine how terrible I look huffing and puffing down the road.  Sweat spewing from every pore (even my palms sweat).  Lobster red face.  Muffin top bouncing. Yes, I do look a bit like a huff-a-lump, but hey, I'm trying.  So, if you see a gal shuffling along highway 17 with a purple face and inner tube belly, please don't pull over or call 911. I promise I'm not having a stroke, I just look like I am.

When Hayden was two years old, so about 6 years ago, Matt ordered this book.

 Between the title and the illustration on the front cover, it seemed like the answer to our prayers.  Hayden was a stubborn toddler, like most I'm sure, and during his tantrums we often felt helpless.  We just didn't know how to deal with a screaming, limp noodle of a child.  Everything made him irate and irrational and trying to figure out how to discipline him caused much dissension between Matt and I.  To spank or not to spank? Talk loud and firm or whisper calmly?  Time out on a stool? but for how long? Matt studied the book and filled me in on some of the more promising parenting techniques, but eventually we both reverted to our natural/instinctual way of parenting.  At about the time Hayden was growing out of his terrible twos, Josie began displaying some of the same disturbing behaviors.  It seemed as though Josie had an acute case of "Limp Noodle Disease"; we determined that it must be genetic.  We fought the same battles with Josie as we did with Hayden, but this time it was much worse, "I want juice!" "I don't want to sleep in my bed!" "I want you!" "I don't want to go home!" "I'm hungry!"  "I don't like that!"  Pretty much any sentence that began with the words "I want ..." or "I don't ..." were usually followed by alligator tears and flailing limbs. There were many times I thought about getting that book out, like when I was pouring Josie milk in her sippy cup for the umpteenth time just because I didn't want to see her melt into a puddle on the ground.  I thought I would be stronger with my second child, but I found my patience was worn thin and my nerves were shot; I was living in a weakened state.  Just like her older brother though, Josie grew into the peaceful and patient child I always knew she would become.  Now we have Lucas, and let me tell you, he is a new breed of whiny.  He can go from 0 to 10 in the blink of an eye and once he does, we might as well call it a day because that is it for him.  We have had a rough couple of weeks, and the other day I found myself searching for our Wimpy Parents book because I realized I was beginning to refer to Lucas as Master and that's just not right.  But guess what?  I couldn't find the book. I was beginning to fear that I might never be strong enough to stand up to all of his demands, but then I remembered that in three short months he will turn 3 years old, and if he is anything like his brother and sister, he will begin to blossom into a caring and gracious child.  At that point, I will look back at all the fits and fights and mental breakdowns and laugh, but I will also be proud because I did it my way and Matt did it his way and our kids turned out just fine.  No book required.