So help me God

I need to go to sleep. I've been up since 4:00 am because Hayden woke up with a fever of 105.7- terrifying I know, and guess what? I still went to work. I wanted to rush him to the ER, but Matt convinced me otherwise. Hayden has a tendency to run high fevers, but this fever topped all. After a dose of Motrin and some wet rags on the head, his fever came down quickly. Hayden has been sick since Saturday, so Matt stayed home today and took him to the doctor. The doctor did blood work, but we will have to wait 48 hours before we know anything. Dr. Jump suspected it was probably a virus, and he is most definitely right because tonight Josie started running a fever- JOY! When it rains it pours. So now I will stay home tomorrow, which means I will have to call in, and I hate calling in. The minute I begin to give my reason for not coming to work my voice gets all shaky and I begin to talk fast, which are the two biggest signs of a liar. But I never lie; I just feel like the person I'm speaking with will think my story is crap. Why does that bother me so badly? I'm not sure. I guess it has something to do with me being a compulsive people pleaser. But I will put my anxiety aside tomorrow and do my mommy duty; I will call my workplace and inform them that I will not be there because I have two sick babies that need their mommy- and that is the truth so help me God!

My Jo

Josie has been so full of life this weekend. She informed me this afternoon that she likes the newborn My Little Pony I bought her from WalMart but that next time she would prefer me to get her something that will make her scream. If you are not sure what she meant by this let me explain. What she meant was that the next time I buy her a toy, she wants me to pull her surprise out of the bag and it be so glorious that she explodes with happiness and shrieks with delight. What a PRINCESS! Then tonight at the dinner table she flatly stated, "Every night it is the same thing, dinner, wii, dinner, wii." She was referring to Matt and Hayden's nightly routine. She is already such a little lady. Her funniest remark came the other day when I asked her if I was pretty. She thought for a minute then replied, "Yes, you are very pretty and I am very pretty too." You're right I assured her, we are both very pretty. Then she smirked and said, "I was going to just say that you are very pretty, but I didn't want to hurt my feelings." She is a hoot and a half. I swear she is nothing like me. Sometimes I think she is from another planet. Josie lives in a world of pretend and spends her days making up songs and dances. She is like a living, breathing Disney character. If she wasn't so shy, she would make a wonderful child actor. She understands humor and relationships and expressions. I just wish all of my family and friends could know her the way Matt and I know her. She is both a joy and a stubborn mule, and I love both because without either she would not be my "Jo."

The good, the bad, and the stretch marked

Long time no write. Much has happened and much is the same. Here are some of the highlights.
1) Bad guy who robbed our house- captured
2) Stolen lap top- recovered
3) FCAT- over
4) Matt's car AC- fixed
5) Hayden's 7th B-day- Alligator Farm
February was a difficult month. Matt and I were dealing with the whole break in drama, while at the same time I was stressing about FCAT. Fear gripped me by the frontal lobe and sent me into a month long wave of migraines and numbness. When your face goes numb after 2-3 glasses of wine, it's fun and relaxing, but when for no apparent reason the left side of your bottom lip feels like it has been injected with Novocaine, it is, well, not. Even after battling migraines for almost three years now, the numbness, muscle weakness, and speech difficulty send me into a near panic attack every time.

February is over and now March is drawing to a close. Summer is near and Spring Break is even closer- Yippee! We took a trip to the beach two weekends ago. The water was freezing, but the kids loved it. While they ran around like a flock of hungry seagulls, I sat in my beach chair fully clothed, wishing I had the confidence to at least take off my tank top and get a little sun on my chest. Each swimsuit season I look back at the previous year's photos and think, "I wasn't as fat as I thought I was." I say this every year, so by now you would think that I would just be like, "Live in the now, Katy, because next year you will be even fatter and you will look back at a photo from this summer and think- I thought I was fat, but I was pretty dope. So do it, Katy, take off that beach cover up and strut your cellulite and stretch marks because next year you'll be 15 lbs heavier and wishing your body looked like this. " Just like time, FATNESS is so RELATIVE.