I Speak Whine-Fluently: April 2009

Who is this kid?

Matt and I bought Josie an iPod Shuffle for her 5th birthday. She has been in a constant jam session since Friday night when she opened her present. Matt, being the great dad that he is, bought all her favorite songs from iTunes and added them to her iPod. Josie is extremely shy and never lets Matt see her dance, so when I caught her singing and dancing to her favorite song "This is Real" by Demi Lovato, I had to get the camera. Unfortunately this video has no sound, but that is not important; it is the pure joy and raw emotion that makes this video priceless. Watch for yourself and try to think about the last time you let yourself be so free.

De-stress like Mama Kate

Stress is not only my middle name, it is my first and last name as well. If you also have a problem with stress, try a few of my tips for de-stressing:

1. lay on your stomach in the bathtub (sounds really weird I know, but it is so relaxing)*
2. lay on your back and let your head or upper body hang off a bed or couch*
3. lay on your back on a hard floor in a quiet room(no pillow) *
4. lay on your stomach on a hard floor in a quiet room(no pillow)*
5. when going to sleep, lay on your back in bed, one pillow under your head and one vertically on top of your stomach and chest
6. lay flat on your back on your couch, hang both legs over the arm of the couch- the back of your knees should touch the arm of the couch*
7. stretch, stretch, stretch
The word lay appeared in 6 of the 7 tips, so I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you are stressed, lay down. Not very scientific, I know, but some of these positions really do help me feel relaxed, and two glasses of wine don't hurt either!
*do for 3-4 minutes for maximum stress relief

Reasoning at 5

Josie to Matt: It is better to say no sir than no, but you can say NO-vember.

The Battle of Poo

I'm the last in the family to be struck with a crippling stomach bug. My bowels have been in distress for two days. My large intestine has been sending out an SOS but to no avail. Pepto is not strong enough to fight this battle. It is like someone threw a stick of dynamite down a well then covered the top of the well with a concrete slab. I've diagnosed myself with an extreme case of "diapation." Hayden was in so much pain from this illness that I took him to the doctor. The doctor sent me home with 10 containers and instructed me to fill each with a scoop of poo. That was it. Those were my instructions. I spent the next two days catching Hayden's poo in a bowl, scooping teaspoons full of it into small containers filled with an ammonia smelling liquid, then shaking vigorously. Needless to say, I didn't fill all the containers and I definitely didn't do all the poop smears, but I took Hayden's bag of poo back to the lab anyways. The lady was like, "Is this everything?" And I was like, "I guess so." I wanted to say, "This is what you get, Lady. I'm a poop collecting amateur. I did the best I could with the instructions I was given. Sorry." The doctor has not called to give me the results, which is good because I guess Hayden's stool sample was fine. The whole stool sample ordeal taught me one important lesson, there is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for my kids.

Love, Love, Love

Things I'm loving right now:

Dove- Shine Therapy shampoo and conditioner
Jergens Sunless Tanner- smells bad, looks pretty good
Granola in my yogurt
wii fit-hula hoop
Deception Point- by Dan Brown
CVS Foot File- files my hooves nicely
Lysol wipes
Method Surface Cleaner
Texas Toast Croutons
Tonic Water, Vodka, Lime Juice, Crushed Ice- Thanks Leaa
Matt's real homemade Ranch- 1 c. mayo,1/2 c. sour cream, 1/4 c. milk, 2 tbsp. chopped onion,
1 tbsp garlic, salt, pepper, 1 tsp. dill (optional), mix, shake, chill, serve, yum
Yard Crashers- HGTV

Easy Living

A few of these pictures were taken at the Azalea Festival parade. It was definitely a small town parade, but all the more reason to love it. The parade was just a few blocks from our house, so we walked there. As you can tell from the picture of Josie, she didn't care very much for the whole affair. When she doesn't have anything to complain about, but she is in the mood to complain, she relies on her immediate and all too real life threatening need for "drink" as her backup complaint. So while we all enjoyed the smiling faces and antique cars, Josie whispered incessantly in my ear that she was thirsty and wanted to go home. The other pictures were taken at the Alligator Farm. We took Hayden there for his 7th birthday in February, and the kids had a ball. We bought annual passes, so we can go now anytime we want. The weekend after Hayden's birthday, we took all three kids to the Alligator Farm. They were amazed and enjoyed being out in the fresh air. Josie was so entertained that she didn't even mention being thirsty. Miracle! The last picture is of Lucas jamming with the headphones on. He loves to listen to music through the headphones. I think he would wear them all the time if we let him. So as you can see, we've been enjoying the weather and each other the last few months. Life is slowly getting easier and boy am I relieved.

Day Dreams

Hayden has become slightly obsessed with wrestling. He doesn't watch wrestling at home, but he has somehow managed to acquire knowledge about the sport and its' participants from commercials, toys, and friends. His obsession got me thinking about what it would be like to be a WWE wrestler. I imagined myself inside the ring with worn black leather pants and a skin tight wife beater. My signature move would involve the use of my leopard print stilettos. As for a name, well, there would have to be some surgery done beforehand, but I was thinking "Southern Im-plantation." Yes, enhancements would definitely be necessary.

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, She's A Lady...

The countdown to my 29th birthday is on. I had a thought the other day. I've spent the majority of my 20's a.) wanting to be pregnant b.) being pregnant or c.) recovering from pregnancy. Seeing as how I am close to the thirty mark, I intend on spending this last year of my twenties preparing for the new me- the better me- the composed and focused me-the me who shaves everyday and gets pedicures-the me I always imagined I'd be by the time I hit 25. I guess age doesn't make you mature because at 28 I still think it's ridiculously funny to light my farts. Sometimes when I'm doing something unmentionable, I'll stop and think to myself- "Katy, your adoring husband is sitting right beside you. Yes, he loves you but he does not deserve to have this image of you in his head." So I apologize for my lack of manners and make false promises like-"I swear I'm going to try not to do gross stuff in front of you anymore. If you see me being unladylike, just thump me between the eyes. You have my permission." Good intentions, I know, but I never follow through. And because he is a good man, he doesn't thump me between the eyes, he just makes smart remarks which I definitely deserve. Being a mom came so naturally, I just thought being a lady would, too. So on April 15th I will blow out 29 candles and make a wish to finally become a lady.