The Battle of Poo

I'm the last in the family to be struck with a crippling stomach bug. My bowels have been in distress for two days. My large intestine has been sending out an SOS but to no avail. Pepto is not strong enough to fight this battle. It is like someone threw a stick of dynamite down a well then covered the top of the well with a concrete slab. I've diagnosed myself with an extreme case of "diapation." Hayden was in so much pain from this illness that I took him to the doctor. The doctor sent me home with 10 containers and instructed me to fill each with a scoop of poo. That was it. Those were my instructions. I spent the next two days catching Hayden's poo in a bowl, scooping teaspoons full of it into small containers filled with an ammonia smelling liquid, then shaking vigorously. Needless to say, I didn't fill all the containers and I definitely didn't do all the poop smears, but I took Hayden's bag of poo back to the lab anyways. The lady was like, "Is this everything?" And I was like, "I guess so." I wanted to say, "This is what you get, Lady. I'm a poop collecting amateur. I did the best I could with the instructions I was given. Sorry." The doctor has not called to give me the results, which is good because I guess Hayden's stool sample was fine. The whole stool sample ordeal taught me one important lesson, there is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for my kids.


marmee said...

Hope you are on feeling better Katy! Thanks for the Monday morning laughs!

Alyson and Ford said...

I won't do that for any situation!! The Veterinarian always says to bring a sample and I could collect it in the yard - but Nope... no for me!!
You are a brave lady!

You looked great at the Beach on Saturday, and yes, we do have pictures of your DH and you! (sorry, didn't put on our blog - I am too selfish with my limited Mommy bragging space!).

Alyzabeth's Mommy for Seven Months!

Mama Kate said...

Don't be sorry. I was relieved that you didn't put up any pictures of me. This body is in no condition for beach wear.